GRANDMA
WAS RIGHT
by
Melody Scott
I recently in the mirror and couldn’t figure out when it was
I lost my “babe” look. All my clothes
had turned dumpy. New ones only helped
for a little while before they look dumpy too.
The shorter skirt look made my
top half and bottom half seem mismatched.
It had to be the shoes.
I consulted my daughter, who scoffed and said, “Mom, anybody
can look like a babe—all you need is five inch platform heels.”
“But I don’t want to look like a hooker!” I said, even
knowing fatter does look better when it’s taller. And I CAN walk in five inch platform
heels. I know because I tried some. Yuck.
Then I tried an open back wedge style and slid right out of
them onto the floor. I felt like a duck.
I skulked shoe stores until clerks started staring, and I did
find some really nice sandals with low
heels. They had a “nude” look that
hinted of babedom. But it’s autumn now
and blue is not my favorite toe color. I
continued the skulk.
Then I saw them—perfectly striped running shoes, sort of
sloped downhill, that made me look like I was going fast when I was standing
still.
When my grandma was recuperating from having been hit by a
car while in a crosswalk at age 81, she very sincerely told the doctor, “I just
hate it when I can’t run, I need to be able to run if I want to.”
“Do you run very much?” he asked with a smirk on his face.
“Only when I want to,” she said, without a smirk on her
face.
Not long after my car died and its funeral was over, I had
to face replacing it. I tried a four
door silver Dodge, an efficient blue compact, even a couple of SUVs. I didn’t feel right in them—they all looked
like jellybeans.
Then I saw it—A loaded Mark VIII whose inside looked like a
747 jet cockpit, and whose engine made
me smile. It looks like it's going fast
when it’s standing still.
Grandma was right. I,
too, need to be able to run if I want to.
I've found that even hot shoes don't help my fat. Sigh. But you're still skinny enough to find some that will do the trick, I'm sure!
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